Gennaro Brooks-Church

I was sitting in the car listening to the radio of a guy who practices "Dandyism" which is basically an obsession with the way he dresses and behaves, a throwback to an idealized mythic time when "men had style" and when when men wore frock coats, petty coats, short coats, long coats and all sorts of other fancy clothing. They also had all sorts of customs and mannerisms that made them unique from others.

Basically he had recreated himself into this hyper stylized person. But then I started to think. As I listened to him I realized this was who he was. True he had recreated himself but the recreation was part of who he was. His recreation and his true self were one and the same. And then a little mantra came into my mind:

"We are what we are"

Who cares if you are pretending, if you are doing what your parents want, if you are doing what you think your parents want, if you are rebelling, if you are "just being yourself" whatever that means, if you are not being yourself or if you are dressing up in frock coats.

Whatever you are is what you are....and then you die.

Where people fail is that they think there is some pure true self somewhere inside and if they just search long enough they will find it. But it is much simpler. You are who you are. If you get rid of all the "non-you", all outside influences (as if this was ever possible), then what would you have? You would have you. But you were you before that as well. "You" are you regardless of all the trivial things like what you dress, think, etc.

You are you are you are you are you are you and are you.

So what do people really talk about when they say I am me? I think it is a sense of being in control. This man "chose" to be a dandy - he felt in control of his choice. Versus somebody who was "forced" to become a dandy.

But this is a joke. Anyone who has ever had a near death experience knows that we are in control of nothing.

So on the surface, sure, you are what you eat, think, do, say etc. and you control that. Certainly you are a different person if you run around killing people vs. somebody who becomes a Buddhist monk. Practically this is true....if only life were always practical.

But parallel to this, is an alternate universe, there is an identical you who is not in control of anything. In that universe you are what you are. Period.

And guess what. These two universes might very well be happening at the same time in your body... a paradox? I think not. It is the yin and yang.

One one side you control your destiny. On the other side your destiny controls you.... go figure that one out...

And meanwhile we have this interesting but overly cynical take on who you are: